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The Gift of Presence

Posted: 2024-11-10

I love the mind. It’s creativity, its richness and its limitations. I’ve come into a richer understanding of our spiritual nature by continuing to learn about the mind. When understanding presence, it goes beyond thoughts and reaches into the vastness of our divine essence. A philosopher at heart, the nature of our perceived reality compels me to understand more. It is this passion that has led me down various spiritual paths forever searching toward a deeper understanding of life.

In 2012 I became aware of Reiki. A skeptic by nature, it was impossible for me to dismiss the experiences I had during sessions. In 2013 I made a decision to become attuned to the energy; a decision which, at the time, seemed inconsequential. Years later I realize the importance of this path in my life. One of the foundations of Reiki is to learn to be present. To disengage from thought and allow an unadulterated state of awareness beyond the mind. That didn’t really resonate with me when it was taught to me; it’s taken time for me to appreciate the value in this moment.

If you stop, in any given moment, and consider the thoughts that are running through your mind, what do you find? Are they here, …in this moment? Are they yesterday, tomorrow, next week, last year? If you sit with your own thoughts long enough you’ll start to see what point in time your mind flows towards. Thoughts often carry an emotion which, in turn, can result in an outward expression - how we show up in the world. Thoughts provide the fuel for how we feel into the moments we find ourselves in. In this way, thoughts manifest our reality…we see (and feel) what we expect. In Reiki we practice relinquishing, as much as we can, two pervasive feelings which tend to cover a wide range of emotion. Anger and worry. Anger has its roots in the past. It informs us that the outcome we had hoped for was not realized and we feel into that loss or perceived injustice with anger, frustration, regret, guilt, remorse, etc. Worry has its roots in the future. It primes us to accept that the outcome we hope for will not be realized and we feel into that space by fretting over a future that has not come to pass. Either state pulls us away from this moment.

So, what is this moment - this eternal now? 

To be present, in this exact moment, requires us to be aware of the thoughts that run through our mind and to choose, for now, to disengage from anything that isn’t connected to what is happening in front of us. To lean into the experience with full acceptance of what is, without telling a story or judging what we are experiencing. To be childlike in our wonder and just allow life to unfold while shutting the mind down from labeling the experience as good or bad. It’s a feeling that asks us to lay aside our stories, our fears, our thoughts and demands that we just be…just for this moment. 

While I can access this state I haven’t yet reached the capacity to remain there for long. Life tugs at me, thoughts, anxiety, dreams….they all enter that magical moment and push me back into myself. I’ve recently found myself dissecting what moves us to fully open to the moment, and each other, as opposed to what pushes us back into ourselves. This dance of expansion and contraction unfurls in unpredictable angles leading us ever forward toward a greater awareness of being.

A State of Contraction

We live in a world of opposites; a state of duality. In Hermeticism these seemingly opposites exist on a continuum of varying degrees of polarity. To define one you must have an awareness of the other. To understand expansion we must also know contraction. Presence asks us to silence the mind and flow through a more heart centered space. Allowing ourselves to be fully seen while being fully present can cause us to feel vulnerable when we are in the company of others. From the time we are born, we look to others to define who we are. As we grow and develop a separate sense of self, we may come into a state of dissonance where what we were told we were supposed to be doesn’t align with our own inner truth. The fear of being rejected by others who may not accept our identity propels us to shield that aspect of who we are. We pick up masks and wear the most fitting one for the occasion. The shared sense of aloneness created by picking up those masks, always maintaining a level of discomfort over being fully seen. It’s a coping mechanism as the mind, biologically, is wired to survive, to seek out threats and opportunities, to navigate through the unknown by projecting maps built off of prior circumstances onto future states. The mind is wired to predict. While creative in its ability to warn us of impending danger, it is often wrong - setting off alarms when the conditions don’t actually require it. We retreat from that heart space sensing the danger of being present and allowing ourselves to be fully seen. It is in this state that we find the movement of contraction.

The Fullness of Expansion

The art of being present develops with practice. Silencing the thoughts that come up and being comfortable with a degree of discomfort in being seen as a fuller version of ourselves takes time. It also demands that we accept ourselves fully for all that we are. When I first opened Reiki Moon in 2014 I refused to associate my name with it as the practice of Reiki, and energy healing, sat in abject defiance to the corporate life I lived. So preoccupied with the perception of others, I wouldn’t allow myself to own my multidimensionality. Even worse, I would find myself judging others that reflected a multidimensional state. At times I still struggle with being both/and. The world of mind categories and places things in neat boxes but our fullness can’t be categorized. You can be both/and. I recently attended a ceremony which honors our shared connectedness; allowing us to be fully present with others in a safe space. The experience reflected just how similar we all are. How afraid many of us are to show up in our fullness and how much we’ve relied on the perception of others to define which mask we’ll wear in this moment. We contract away from being present based on past experiences which left scars and caused us to question our sacred self. Often, we contract to survive as the experience of being judged is painful. To relinquish all masks and step into our authentic truth from a place of heart centeredness and not mind creates expansion.

Growing into Presence

In October, I was reminded of what’s missed when we aren’t in a state of being fully present. An unexpected encounter full of wonder had me contracting back into myself. I’ve memorized the picture but I’ve forgotten the face - too caught up in my own awareness, and fear, to be fully present. Life is in the moments, threaded ever forward in experiences that give us pause. There’s a powerful energy in living in this exact moment. A life force that’s vast and boundless - miracles happen in that space. It is this force that is lost to the mind, unable to place into memory such ethereal perfection. It’s why impactful experiences can only be held in the mind in parts and not its fullness. We are spiritual beings caught up in a moment of shared humanness. Our spiritual nature, our true home, beckons us to be present, to be seen and to fully see others without judgment. To relinquish the masks and accept all that is in this moment. That fully authentic self that we sometimes hide is our identity regardless of whether we embrace it.

Once you learn to accept yourself fully…all of your weirdness, all of your wildness, all that you are, you’ll show up as the fullest version possible in each moment. Don’t be preoccupied with how that lands with others. The right people will accept all that you are, always!

To the ‘remarkable’ artist whose unplanned presence intersected my own:

Had I the opportunity to relive the moment again, I would look upon you much closer, open to you much wider and listen so much deeper. I would breathe in your beingness and rest in that perfect stillness.

With Love and Gratitude - Cassandra